May 1, 2013

Word of the Week: Influence

By C. M. Bowar

influence |ˈinflo͝oəns|

noun

the capacity to have an effect on the character, development, or behavior of someone or something, or the effect itself: the influence of television violence | I was still under the influence of my parents | their friends are having a bad influence on them.

• the power to shape policy or ensure favorable treatment from someone, esp. through status, contacts, or wealth: the institute has considerable influence with teachers.

• a person or thing with such a capacity or power: Frank was a good influence on her.

• Physics, archaic electrical or magnetic induction.

verb [ with obj. ]

have an influence on: social forces influencing criminal behavior.

PHRASES

under the influence informal affected by alcoholic drink; drunk: he was charged with driving under the influence.

DERIVATIVES

influenceable adjective,

influencer noun

 

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As leaders it’s important not to mistake importance with influence. Job titles, positions, or even fame can lead us to believe that we have influence over the people we are leading. But looking closer at our lives and the lives of people following us will indicate that, although we have gained importance in their lives, we have failed to gain influence in them.

This isn’t to say that both influence and importance are not important. But that is to say that there is a distinction that shouldn’t be overlooked. The idea of being influential, I understand, isn’t new. The novelty is when leaders choose to become influential through their personal relationships with others and not through the importance of their titles. The importance in leadership style is great. Leaders who focus on importance often have to resort to control in order to achieve change. The pursuit of influence, however, allows individuals to follow the leader willingly and independent of the pressure of assumed titles or authority.

A more egalitarian view of leadership might be necessary to allow that change in church. But when we look at how Jesus led we can likely agree that he chose influence in the lives of people he was in relationships with over importance in the established system of governance. That is why I believe that as we re-focus our churches to re-emphasize discipleship we will likely have to give up our ideas of being important and instead invest in being influential.

 

 

 

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April 24, 2013

Word of the week: Equivocate

By C. M. Bowar

equivocate |iˈkwivəˌkāt|

verb [ no obj. ]

use ambiguous language so as to conceal the truth or avoid committing oneself: [ with direct speech ] : “Not that we are aware of,” she equivocated.

DERIVATIVES

equivocator |-ˌkātər|noun,

equivocatory |-kəˌtôrē|adjective

ORIGIN late Middle English (in the sense ‘use a word in more than one sense’): from late Latin aequivocat- ‘called by the same name,’ from the verb aequivocare, from aequivocus (see equivocal) .

 

Let’s be honest.

Someone who refuses to face the truth or to allow others to see the truth cannot lead effectively. Equivocating is a dangerous game. It entraps you in soft words and ambiguity that allow you to avoid learning the lessons or addressing the problems that you need to address. It is tempting to use it on others or ourselves when a truth we do not like is staring us in the face.

But here is the truth: Playing word games so it doesn’t seem as bad won’t actually make the problem better.

Perhaps it feels better to tell yourself that it wasn’t wholly your fault, or that the problem isn’t as big as it seems or even isn’t a problem at all. Maybe we can sleep better at night after we’ve played word games about what the meaning of the word ‘is’ is. Maybe that makes us feel better, but it won’t make the truth better. Equivocating doesn’t change the facts, it just allows us to deny that we have to take responsibility and do something about it. And equivocating won’t protect us from exposing ourselves when we don’t know something but try to act like we do by being ambiguous. (Isn’t that why we like essay exams over multiple choice? You can equivocate and still sound like you know even though you’re pulling it out of your butt)

But when the bible says that the truth sets us free, I think it means that. A simpler and more freeing world awaits the leader who can humble himself to be honest about the problems at hand, evaluate clearly who is responsible for the problem, and admit what he does and doesn’t know.

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April 19, 2013

The Guest

By C. M. Bowar

Unknown          I got stuck doing bulletin duty before church last week. Christian did it with me. Dutifully we greeted the general attenders taking extra care to greet the ‘new comers’ with a welcoming smile and warm disposition. We wanted them to come back.

The bulletins were designed in the way that they always were: A generic flower picture with a clichéd scripture beneath it. “We’re glad you’re hear” is what it was meant to say, but to me it said: “Old ladies with cross stitch await you”. I smiled to myself. It wasn’t too far from the truth these days, but you know, we’re praying for something big. We really want to see God break into people’s lives anew. And it was as I handed out my last bulletin that it happened.

I think I had seen the spirit before. She had been in the service once or twice maybe. She introduced herself to me when I first got saved and then disappeared. But now here she was in the flesh! And coming to our church!

My buddy Christian saw her coming and greeted the Holy Sprit with a smile and a polite handshake.

“Hey Man, it’s awesome you’re here.” He said excitedly pulling out a bulletin “Wait right here, I’ll go get the pastor.” Christian ran off before either Holy Spirit or I could stop him. I smiled a little sheepish. Christian was rather enthusiastic. I wondered if Holy Spirit didn’t want to just go in and enjoy the service. But she waited patiently until Christian returned with the pastor.

“Greetings!” The pastor said reaching out his hand for another shake. “It’s good to have you here.”  He smiled. Spirit nodded. “It’s been awhile,” The pastor continued “I hope you like the service.” He grabbed a bulletin from Christian and opened it up taking out the stuffer with the service outline.

“Hey listen,” The pastor said, “Since you’re here. Let me just explain the service and where we want you to interact okay?” Holy Spirit cocked her head to the side quizzically.

“The first two songs are really exciting. So if you could maybe work up some joy. Maybe some gifts,” The pastor rethought “well, maybe just one or two. You know, nothing that would disturb the order the of service or embarrass anyone.” I watched, a little embarrassed myself while the pastor took the bulletin from Holy Spirit to open her own copy so she could see. He took care to point out the ‘next phase’ in the schedule to her.

“After that if you would just come in and quiet it down, you know make a few people cry, really get intimate with us. And then, here are the notes to the sermon this week. If you could” He hesitated a little “just come in and convict the people with my message, you know, a real life changer. But of course you know how to do that,” The pastor said laughing “but be sure to be done by eleven, okay. That’s when the service ends and you will be dismissed.”

There were a few more pleasantries exchanged between the two of them, “it’s good to have you”s and “this will really be good for the service today”s and then the pastor excused himself, quietly ushering Holy Spirit into the building with his hand in the small of her back. The pastor assured her that he would find a good seat for her to sit, you know not too obvious so as to attract too much attention. We wouldn’t want her to be a distraction in the service. It was, after all, the Apostle Paul who said to worship in an orderly fashion.

I watched them go even more embarrassed. I didn’t know what Holy Spirit thought of that. I can’t imagine it made Her feel…well comfortable. I turned to Christian who was still ecstatic.

“Oh man, can you believe it!” He half shouted at me “Holy Spirit hasn’t been at this church in forever!”

Yeah. I thought to myself. I wonder why she doesn’t come more often…

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April 17, 2013

Word of the Week: Obscurity

By C. M. Bowar

obscurity |əbˈskyo͝oritē|

noun ( pl. obscurities )

the state of being unknown, inconspicuous, or unimportant: he is too good a player to slide into obscurity.

• the quality of being difficult to understand: poems of impenetrable obscurity.

• a thing that is unclear or difficult to understand: the obscurities in his poems and plays.

ORIGIN late Middle English: from Old French obscurite, from Latin obscuritas, from obscurus ‘dark.’

 

The goal of leadership shouldn’t be to attract attention. Leaders should bring other people on mission with them to change the world for the better. Occasionally I meet individuals who have attracted a lot of attention and notoriety but when I look at their lives, I wonder if they have actual done something substantial. Have they really done anything more than just be famous? I almost wonder if fame is kryptonite for leaders. The temptation for looking good and getting attention kills the original heart for the vision and turns it into shadow—something that just looks good for people who don’t look too closely. Sometimes the best visions, the ones that change the lives of others around you, are the ones that don’t get the glory. So the word of the week is obscurity. Are you willing to obscurely lead others into making a difference of substance rather than show?

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April 8, 2013

Wait, where are we going again?

By C. M. Bowar
tumblr_lkoi37l2TZ1qdfv3oo1_500

“following the leader” –Disney’s Peter Pan

As I continue to ponder my own misunderstandings of leadership I am drawn again to why my ‘leadership style’ in college failed. It is important to me now because I believe that we are creatures of habit and I know I will repeat my mistakes unless I understand them.

When evaluating how well I have prepared others to follow me on my mission in the past, I begin to understand my problem: I might have been able to lead people somewhere were I actually going somewhere myself. And as I consider it, I think a lot of pastors struggle in the same way.

Leadership requires the leader to actually have a clear goal and mission. We have to have something to lead our followers into. Not just church on Sunday, or a ‘deeper relationship with Christ’. I mean a tangible action or goal. While I was in school I had people following me, but where was I going? What was my mission in life? If you had asked me in college I would have said ‘I just want to know God more’. This is not bad, in fact it is necessary, but it was never meant to be the end but a means to the end. God is a God of purpose and mission. Yes we want to be deeper into the word and into Christ and the power of his spirit. But it must be for the purpose of the mission of God otherwise it becomes stale. As my step dad used to put it: ‘we wind up memorizing the manual without ever starting the car’.

 

As leaders we have to have a clear vision of where God is leading us to reach the lost before we can invite others into it.  

 

I wonder at why I didn’t have a mission in college. Why didn’t I pursue a vision to lead my followers into? I think it comes down to three things. I didn’t have clarity about what it would take, I wasn’t equipped to live that vision out, and I was unwilling to shoulder the cost.

 

Intentionality is Key: If you had talked to me in college I would have agreed that we needed to reach the lost. But if you had asked me how to do that on campus, I wouldn’t have said anything that required me to be intentional about it.

You don’t receive a mission to be on or to build unless you are intentional about seeking it out and about following through. The bible says that if you seek you will find if you ask it will be given to you. You have to first recognize that the lost will not reach themselves. Good fruit is produced by being intentional with your relationships and with your vision.

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cathyshq.blogspot.com

Seek out your equipping: On my Missionary Associate’s application my pastor gave me a five on a leadership evaluation (that’s five out of ten). It stung when I read it I think because I knew it was true. I have thought a good deal more about it and I think at that point it was true because I wasn’t equipped to lead better.

The bible says that if the blind leads the blind they will both fall into a ditch. Remember God is in it for the long hall, so should you be. He doesn’t mean to have over night, one hit wonders. The bible calls those things seed that fell on rocky soil that grew up too fast, it didn’t have the roots it needed, and when the sun came out it withered and fell away. The equipping process is required to build a character to sustain the calling. Find someone who is doing what you want to do, follow and learn from them.

Count the cost: As leaders and visionaries we don’t only have vision and mission from God. We have dreams for ourselves. We have projects that we created and wanted to accomplish in our lives. In college I didn’t want to be a missionary. I wasn’t that interested in being intentional about living missionally either. I knew if I did that it would cost me some of the other ‘visions’ that I liked better.

The bible says that a man who goes into battle without first counting the cost is a fool. But it doesn’t say it isn’t worth going into battle. As leaders we fail to lead others on mission with us, because we either don’t want to pay the price of equipping and giving up our own vision or because we don’t think the vision will pay off the way we want it to.

 

As a leader now I find I am often frustrated that other people aren’t more willing to pay the cost for a vision of their own. But I think the reason is simple: They haven’t received a vision or taste of the kingdom of God. They’ve been in church but the transformational power of building and being in the kingdom of heaven here on earth has escaped them. Maybe that’s why it is so important for us pioneering types to have a clear vision. We are needed in the body of Christ to caste vision well enough that others can see it and want it for themselves, because the Kingdom of God is worth it. In fact once you taste it, you won’t ever go back.

I’m not making this mistake again and it makes me twice as excited. And since I have a clear vision I’ve been able to bring people on mission with me. Even though I’m still very much in the equipping phase of the mission God has called me on I am hopeful in what is to come.

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April 3, 2013

Fear and Authority

By C. M. Bowar

I have not always been the best leader. My independent nature is not one that readily wants others to join me even though my natural ability often puts me in charge. It isn’t until the last year or so that I gave myself pause and took stalk of how I was leading the people around me—both consciously and unconsciously. I don’t think I was very interested in taking responsibility for actually leading anyone. I had my opinions and I wanted to convince people, but actually inspiring them into action? Well now…let’s not get too crazy here. I am only 24. And I was much younger when I had these opinions. People might agree with me. Adults might agree with me, but following me on mission is a totally different story. A passionate 18 year old is not ready to be in charge. But neither were there people preparing me to one day be in charge and so my version of leadership up until the end of college was equivalent to changing people’s minds.

I began to lead my first discipleship huddle this last fall. (I cover what huddle is in my post on failure). Starting out I realized that this is where the rubber meets the road, so to speak. I had led other things I suppose; small groups at my campus ministry, or prayer nights. But huddle is about more than talking. It’s about more than just reading the bible. It’s about actually living. It’s more than talking about living another way too. It equips the person to live that way and holds them accountable for doing it. Yikes!

Assuming the role of ‘leader’ was difficult for me. Intentionally taking up the authority to lead was intimidating. Since I am hopelessly in love with the kingdom aspect of my relationship with God, as an immature disciple I chose to seek authority in order to sustain my identity. It is a dysfunction that naturally punishes all who attempt it–and I had been severely punished. Discovering that my identity is from my covenant with Jesus and not my own authority was delightful. But now that I am being given responsibility to lead and lead well I find that stepping into that authority is difficult.

It has been in the last few weeks that I’ve really begun to explore why my huddle is so disorganize and off balanced…why hasn’t it established it’s natural rhythm? Why don’t my members seem to make it a priority? Not only that, but why did the people who I led before in college not follow me on mission? It was when we went over the octagon in my own huddle, talking about preparing persons of peace to come on mission with us, that I realized how bad of a leader I was.

I had spent most of my previous leadership energy on ‘organizing’ things for the people following me to participate in. I did girl retreats, life group, prayer night, and they were all good things. But those who participated didn’t catch the vision and start organizing and leading these things themselves. They didn’t look at how I lived and treated them and became intentional about living the same way towards their friends. I’m now beginning to understand why. What I was doing wasn’t leadership—it was management.

Management is rather like babysitting: You create things that others can participate in with the hopes that they will accomplish what you hope to accomplish. Leadership is taking authority that God gives you, inviting others on the mission that you are on, and challenging them to live committed to that vision in their lives. It requires more than just something to say, it requires actually leading, taking responsibility and authority and inviting others to follow where you are going.

When God opened the door for me to actually lead, I lacked the confidence to lay out the rules and be clear in the beginning of the vision and expectations of my huddle. It was easier to just invite people into what I was ‘organizing’ as I had done before and hope that they’ll get the vision as it comes. I wasn’t even clear with myself about my authority as a leader. So I became the ‘manager’ that delved out tasks, but never actually led. I was so afraid to take authority and lead well that I allowed my huddle to become imbalanced and set a poor example for what discipleship should be. As it turns out, I feared their rejection of my authority as a leader and so never took the authority that was necessary for my huddle to go anywhere.

Instead of fearing rejection of the people I desperately want to disciple I ought to be confidant in who God made me as a leader and how he chose to equip me. I need to trust that He will bring about whatever results He wants by my obedience and stewardship of what he’s taught me…not by my attempt to ‘manage’ things. Avoiding authority incase something goes wrong like I had done is just a way for me to take control from God and do things my way.

Being humble enough to admit that I might fail as I learn to take on the authority necessary for a good leader is what allows God to work through my leadership. It’s what allows me to press forward even if people decide not to join me. It was a rookie mistake, which is good because I am a rookie and I can learn from it. But it wasn’t the only mistake on my journey of leadership. I’ll cover more on that in the next post.

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April 1, 2013

Failure

By C. M. Bowar

I’ve been reflecting on what G.K Chesterton said: “If it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing badly.”

Building disciples isn’t easy. The questions of who and how are difficult questions to answer. Over the last year and half or so I’ve been introduced into the process of Discipleship through Huddle, which is an intentional group being led on how to make disciples. The foundation of it came from 3DM ministries, although I learned it from my church community at Misseo Dei. The process is difficult and challenging but very worth it. I’ve grown more in the last year than at any other point in my life. Of course the point of being in Huddle isn’t to just grow, but to produce fruit as well…to equip it’s members to make  other disciples.

When I moved to Las Vegas a door opened for me to lead a huddle of my own. How could I resist? So I started a huddle of my own last fall. One of my members was in a position of authority over me in the organization I work for which made the authority structure of my huddle difficult to navigate. I had no doubt that God opened the door for it, but walking it through was awkward and I stumbled through the first few months with trepidation.

In my reflection of the quote I admitted to myself that I don’t often begin things that I think I will fail, or do poorly at. Part of me hates failure because failing is embarrassing, the other part of me finds it a gigantic waste of effort. I’m an economics major in school so, you know, it’s inefficient.

I knew entering the huddle that I would likely not succeed very well. I had heard stories of other ‘first time huddles’ which ended rather badly so when mine seemed to lack momentum I didn’t panic. But when I hit D2 in leading my huddle and my members hadn’t caught the vision but still managed to be in D2 themselves, I wondered if it was worth even sticking out. There would be a chance for a huddle the following year, maybe this was just not supposed to work out? But then here is this quote and I have to decide if huddle–discipleship–is worth doing because if it is, doing it badly is better than not at all.

I knew I wasn’t that great of a leader, but when my huddle told me they didn’t know they were supposed to have a kairos to share every week I realized just how poorly I communicated the vision. I am a much better L2 leader than I am an L1 leader. Casting vision for people who aren’t as visionary as I am is not my strong point especially when I’m afraid of taking the authority to lead them (but more on that in a different post).

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My latest huddle was yesterday and it was much closer to what huddle should look like than what it ever has been and I’m grateful because it means I’m

growing. I guess I understand now what Chesterton meant. It’s worth doing badly because doing it badly is the only way you can arrive at doing it well. But it doesn’t work if you give up in the middle of it. So for those of you in D2 of whatever God has asked you to do…doing it badly IS worth it. Just keep your heart humble to admit your failures and let God teach you to be better in them. Failure isn’t doing badly anyway, it’s not doing what God is asking you to do.

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